๑•夏ิ里.•日ั๑™

你越走越遠

2012-01-09T21:52:00.001+08:00

你的腳步突然變得很快。我都還沒有搞清楚，你就慢慢走遠了。。。

我不是很確定我能不能跟得上。。。

Getting busy...

2012-01-09T21:34:00.002+08:00

ROAR! Coming up there's a lot fine art club activities, and assignments.. and our art group thing. WOOOOO... getting busy.. >.< hurmmmm.. i still don't think there's a point for me to blog. haha since i only use it to complain YOU. F3 and then i have a personal diary.. and yeap i tell you everything through phone. and then i don't want any public diary wakakaka... XD. hmm.

Blogging?

2012-01-07T23:52:00.003+08:00

Anyone, tell me. What's the fun of blogging if you don't have readers?

Blog to shiok sendiri? =.=

Lol, currently watching Running Man..

Ehhhh... right, i just drew a portrait of Audrey. XD

yeap here you are. XD hahah Chie Kwan(college friend) taught me to draw a sketch first, to differentiate the light and shadow first then only paint. wakakaka, let's see how it works.

2011-12-13T23:21:00.000+08:00

遲早，我們會處在不一樣的世界。
如果，你還會記得我，我們再會。

最喜歡的，變成最討厭的

2011-12-13T23:09:00.002+08:00

想跟你看的電影，結果被人“霸佔”了。。。
然後，沒關係，你說值得看第二次，想再說我們一起去看，你說要下載。。。

然後，我不喜歡那個電影了。。。最喜歡的電影，想和最喜歡的人看，結果。。。。留下遺憾。
雖然你說，我們結婚后第一部在家看的戲，會是那部。。。可是有些東西，錯過那個時間點就是不一樣的感覺了。

不要緊，你最好給我記住，下次真的結婚了，你要主動和我一起看那部戲！

不爽！到現在都還是不爽！

距離

2011-11-15T11:30:00.000+08:00

哦，部落格還有一個好處，自己寫自己爽。XD

那天收拾房間，看到恩恩寫給我的信，裏面還有提到我們以前一起開的‘終極一班’部落格。現在連密碼都不記得了。。。

唉。。。怎麽這樣？

所謂人類

2011-11-15T11:21:00.002+08:00

人類，真的超級矛盾難搞。。。

知識多固然好，可是有時我為太有知識又自負的人感到可悲，因為世界上已經沒有什麼事情可以讓他覺得驚訝或好奇，人生因此少了驚喜。

愛情固然好，可是當‘到手’了，是否會像剛開始一樣珍惜？是不是時間久了熱情就會沖淡？

曾幾何時我的世界只剩下你？什麽事情都是你你你，傷心的時候竟然忘了我以前是怎麼活得很開心。

原來，‘我’不見了。。。這件事情很大條。。。=.= 我不要每次都這樣。

所以如果在一起是這樣，那怎麼辦？

那些年，我們一起追的女孩

2011-08-30T21:44:00.002+08:00

其實，我從來沒有喜歡過九把刀的作品（九把刀的粉絲請別打我 >.<），雖然之前有讀過他的那本《殺手》，還有《樓上的房客》。我也從來不曉得原來九把刀有寫愛情小說。哈哈！

這個故事，例外，我是先注意到電影的。然後查了查原來是小說改編的！於是急急忙忙找出那本小說。

我很期待這部能讓所有男生回味過去，讓所有男生感慨的愛情電影。它不但讓男生感動，還可以把我們從現在倒帶回以前的生活，那段甜酸苦辣、那段青春。

青春只有一次，過了就是過了。我現在雖然還年輕（廢話！），可還是感歎中學生活很短啊！

2011-08-10T19:08:00.001+08:00

重新找回了对于绘画的热忱。不是找回，应该说，增加了。现在，画画能让我开心、满足，对着左思右想、绞尽脑汁来画的artwork，难免会有一种满足感。

这幅包含了很多意义在里面，所以让我觉得很耐看，因为有更深一层的含义。

moving~~

2011-08-10T01:36:00.002+08:00

http://secretfantasylife.tumblr.com/

something more to pictures.

嗯

2011-07-16T16:25:00.001+08:00

可以做些什么？画家是可以无中生有，或是有中生更多。。哈哈。

可以说些什么？

那。。。可以画些什么？！

嘿！！明明是在做自己喜欢的事情，为什么提不起劲！

无言

2010-09-04T14:52:00.001+08:00

总觉得最近发生好多事。。多到我都不知从何说起，也觉得部落格没有了意义。。。哈哈！

不过，昨天才去找恩，今天就撞车了。。。天啊，我竟然不在状况内，不知道是什么东西影响了我，最近头脑也越来越模糊。。。都不知道自己在干吗。。。。

=.=

Lamonxe no more

2010-08-11T17:22:00.002+08:00

只剩下吉他手、鼓手和贝斯手的我们，之前还有在练团，现在简直就像人间消失了一样。对了，我们的团名，早就换了。现在叫[轰鸣·Bang!]

昨天，联络了Rei之后，阿歆就信息来了~真巧~下个礼拜天，应该可以再聚在一起了吧？

轰鸣，再次出发！

p/s:我真的很想演出。。。。

what i was doing for the past few weeks....

2010-08-02T18:05:00.003+08:00

我可爱的组员~~还有讲师~

frame of yesterday

Frame of now

frame of today

deng lo, 所谓台下十年功，台上一分钟，就是这个意思。还好我们没有做一年啦~哈哈~不过加起来，也有很久了~不多说明了，因为那天30分钟的presentation都要了我的命，没理由让我再差点丧命一次~哈哈哈~~不过还是说一说好了，免得你们看着我们花了超过3个星期来完成的呕心沥血之作，却不明白我们到底要表达什么~

我们的主题是based on ''yesterday, today and now"。刚开始，讲师是要求我们从what is time and space 着手，然后就加入"衣食住行"其中一个进去。经过一番折腾，（真的很折腾咯~）我们的自己一个主题是：the purpose of wearing is twisted from protection to wear it to personal style, and now we wear it to be on top of fashion~为什么做这个artwork? 为了让别人知道穿衣的定义还有告诉人家穿衣的定义一直在改变~

嗯，不要讲了，不然我会把整个写好的稿都抄了进来~

一个人

2010-07-22T23:08:00.002+08:00

刚父母出去了~又再次尝到一个人在家的滋味，没有人在身边时很寂寞的。别以为你可以招架得住，因为晚上才是寂寞吞噬你的时候。说不定还会发恶梦。

恩啊~考虑和你妈妈一起去吧。没有办法多见朋友是事实~但是放心我们还会见的！到了那里还是可以交朋友的，和你妈妈一起，会有照应~

有听过天下没白吃的午餐咯~那就等于天下也没有轻松的事情。wan xin 并不是聪明所以才没有压力，她是懂得处理压力~你也可以说，每一件事都附带着‘压力’送你。哈哈~所以只要懂得处理压力，你做什么、读什么都会很轻松~

生活加油咯~决定在于你自己~我们都支持你~

negatives got me

2010-07-08T00:55:00.001+08:00

荒谬，但如果真的可以！我要学会读心术，那就不必胡乱猜疑了，也不必再想，我在你心里，到底占了多少位置？还是是我的罪太深，让你只好把我忘了？

老婆

2010-07-08T00:31:00.003+08:00

那天晚上，打开我收form 1 到form 3收到的信。，是老婆写给我的。

对啦，我以前的老婆就是恩恩。

那封信的内容，抱歉很隐秘，哈哈~可是，我就顿时想起以前的日子。（又掉入思念悬崖）

忘了几时开始的，只是那时候就叫对方老公老婆，有够肉麻的，但是我们都不在意。记得常常，我们喜欢只有两个人一起讲话，然后窝在一起，讲真，举止都有点像夫妻。最后还买了戒指tim.

可之后我转校了，当然大家都应该改变了，只是看到那张照片，里面没有我，那种落寞还真不是滋味。

那就，总结一下。。

老婆，想念你啦。。。我可以驾车了，得空载着你和婉欣去兜风。

haizzz

2010-06-19T14:39:00.002+08:00

突然间掉入思念悬崖。那个fullmetal alchemist 结局了，所以我的情绪也跟着起伏很大，毕竟之前我们对这套戏有太多太多的感情，或许其实只有我还沉溺在这个回忆吧？

活了那么久，我已经慢慢明白有些事情只能是回忆，永远只能回味而不能逆转时间回到那个时候。虽然明白，但是心里还是难免有种失落。

我以前是扮演那个哥哥，又矮小、热情但脾气很大~我还为了配合他的角色，结果听到别人说我矮就会生气，到现在还是没办法改变。哈哈，所以不要说我矮！那时候，有人扮演大佐，有人当Winry，当然，还有那个可爱的弟弟。（大家都是女的，哈哈）不知道是因为戏里的关系，还是我们真的是有做‘兄弟’的缘分，大家都过得很高兴。真的很高兴，也就是我们现在没有办法再回去的那种天真烂漫的中学时期。刚刚翻回弟弟写给我的那些信，虽然内容很搞笑，但是我看了更加惆怅。以前那些关心嘛，都不在了。我还记得那时我太过投入，结果换来朋友们说我烦。后来想想，我的确太投入而迷失了自己。可是我不后悔。。。真的不后悔。

容许我暂时回味，因为我没有别的管道抒发我的情绪。太情绪化了。太多太多的话想说，太多太多的回忆涌入脑里了，没办法一一写出来。没办法。。我只是很想念大家，很想念那段日子。一直都很讨厌自己太过被感情扯后腿。

我不管你有没有在看，我还是想说，你在我心里永远是那个可爱的弟弟，那个常常会喊我“nii-san”的那个弟弟。那就，永别了吧~只希望我们再见面至少还是有话聊得朋友，因为大家都在改变。那天出席你朋友帮你办的生日会，你没有叫我Ed的时候，我已经很清楚了~

Wish you all the best in the future, haha~

2010-05-23T23:15:00.005+08:00

I need a way OUT~~~

FROM THIS MADNESS, FROM THIS STRESS, FROM THIS CRAZY PLACE, FROM THIS THING THAT ONCE I LOVE SO MUCH YET IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY NOW!

ART! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!! @,@

怎么了~你累了~说好的坚持呢？我懂了~不说了~热忱呢？梦远了~开心与不开心一一看透着，你再逼我！那些爱过的感觉都早已经飞到远远了~~~你不懂了！说好的！坚持呢？我懂了~要睡了~黑眼圈，更深了~只是一大堆的功课还等着呢，要怎么睡呢？T.T

-说好的坚持呢-
阿零版~

25 random facts about myself 25件关于自己的小事

2010-05-08T16:47:00.006+08:00

1.我很自恋~哈哈，自恋到你听了都会想吐！
I'm an ultimate self lover. XD believe it!

2.我想当摇滚系的女生~哈哈，有个性。我到现在都还在实现那个我想拥有自己的舞台的那个梦想。
I wish to be a rockstar! i'm still fulfilling the dream of having a stage. XD

3.我跟父母关系可以说很不错，可以谈学校、朋友、自己的想法，但是就是不会说关于爱情！
my relationship with parents are not bad, we can talk about my school, my friends and my
thoughts BUT not about love or guys.

4.从手指头开始感到一阵麻，然后一直到脚底板。这种感觉，是心痛！不过我很喜欢！所以我怀疑自己有自虐倾向，哈哈！
i suspect that i like to torture myself cause', i like the feeling of having my heart ripped apart and feel the pain from your fingers and all the way through your heart and body. XD sucks huh~

5.很喜欢自己一个人在半夜看小说，然后自己流泪。哈哈，对发泄情绪有帮助，不过对身体健康不好~
i like staying up late to read sad story novels and cry by myself. i find it helpful to release tension, but is bad for health. haha

6.我喜欢画画，但是我不喜欢被束缚的画。就好像学校讲师给你的指定功课一样，烦~
i like drawing, but not drawing something with a fixed title, like the assignments that lecturer gave us, annoying!!

7.我喜欢到处参朋友，但是人往往都是只呆在自己的朋友圈里，不出来，所以我没办法进去。但是希望大学就不会是这样了~哈哈！
i actually prefer to hang out with different friends everyday, though humans are used to be with their own friends, so i can't step in if they don't step out. and i realized college is easier to achieve this 'concept' of mine. XD

8.有任务在身的男生，很吸引我。尤其是“时间的守护人”。打个比方，像终极系列里必须维护时空次序的脩，还有Rave Master 的时间守护人，Sieghart。因为有任务在身，所以让他们自然地散发出一种魅力。
'Guardian of Time' this term eventually attracts me. i find these guys who lives as a guardian, is cool and attractive. hah, example, KO series' Xiu, and Rave Master's Sieghart. both of them have one thing in similar, which is live to protect something. haha

9.我比较受年纪小的人欢迎。也就是说，年纪小的人，跟我比较ngam key。
though i'm an adult, i find that people younger than me have more topics with me.

10.我超讨厌小孩子！上次我的阿姨叫我照顾她女儿，我只差没气到翻桌子。
i hate kids. lol don't wanna explain... i just hate them.

11.我喜欢有关时空的事情。常常会幻想自己回到以前的时空或者未来的，又或者我遇到从别的时空来的人。哈哈！
i really am interested in things like back to the past or to the future. i used to dream about going back to the past or to the future, and i still am dreaming about it. XD

12.我很羡慕那些长头发，有气质又斯文的女生，因为我不是那种！哈哈~
i envy those girls with long hair, polite and somehow elegant, cause i'm not in this category!

13.羡慕归羡慕，我还是不想当那种女生~但是我给人家的第一印象就是‘斯文’！如果你这样想，就错了！因为你后来就会发现，我不但不斯文，还很粗鲁~~我不但不女性化，我还男性化给你看！哈哈~我敢肯定有90%的人见过我，都是这样认为的~
but its just envy, i don't wanna be like them. XD but the first impression of others towards me is, i'm polite and quiet. lol i can tell you that you're wrong!!! and time to time, u'll realize not only i'm rude, i'm also boyish! lol i'm very sure that 90% of them who knew me thinks that way~

14.我喜欢灌酒，但是不喜欢酒的味道。我喝酒是为了证明我的酒量很好。哈哈！
i don't like the taste of beer or wine, but i drink them like tap water. i drink to prove that i'm a good drinker so that people can't fuddle me easily. =D

15.我会轻易喜欢上搞笑或幽默的男生。哈哈~因为让我笑就是可以让我开心。（很白目的想法，不过我就是因为这样才不小心喜欢上两个没有话题的男生）
i'd easily fall for guys with sense of humour. yes! cause you make me laugh=i'm happy. i know only idiots would think this way, but this is the main reason i fell for two guys which doesn't fit into my world at all.

16.心痛的时候，我只会偷偷在晚上睡觉时哭泣。哈哈，朋友讲我冷血，但是家人说我爱哭。
when i'm hurt or realllyyyy sad, i'd only cry in the middle of the night, with the pillow over my face. friends described me as cold blooded but my family says i'm a cry baby.

17.缘分这种东西，我原本不相信，但是现在不论到我不信！因为发生了一些很巧的事~不过我不要提~我想放在心上。哈哈~
fate, is unbelievable until you experienced the whole process. haha i don't wanna share it cuz i wanna keep it inside my heart~ keke~ something nice happened la.

-to be continued- (too sleepy)

拥抱！简直是我的心声！

2010-05-07T22:57:00.002+08:00

很喜欢拥抱，喜欢与心爱的人深情相拥的感觉，什么也不说，什么也不做，就只是静静地拥抱，久久不要分开，似乎只有这样，才能体会与心爱的人真正溶为一体的真实感。在那一刻，相信时间也会为我们停止的……

好想,累的时候抱抱你!　　一直以来都觉得，拥抱，较之亲吻更加真实、温馨，那个可以让你依靠的胸膛一定是很温暖的，肩膀也一定很坚实。不然为什么大家在伤心哭泣的时候，总想找个肩膀来依靠呢，我想，其实更多地是想要一个拥抱吧。拥抱的时候，内心会溢满一种叫甜蜜的情愫，拥抱的感觉是真实和安全的，因为拥抱是有温度的，拥抱是有声音的……

　　拥抱的含义有很多：
　　情侣间的拥抱，是幸福甜蜜的；
　　夫妻间的拥抱，是宽容理解的；
　　朋友间的拥抱，是贴心信任的；
　　吵架后的拥抱，代表妥协与原谅；
　　相逢后的拥抱，代表思念与激动；
　　离别前的拥抱，代表不舍与期待……

　　拥抱，是无声的语言，拥抱，是最简单的接受与认可……
　　拥抱的时候，彼此是被需要的，被别人需要是时候，是一个人最有价值的时候……

　　曾经在篇文章上看到一段话：
　　当一个女人从背后抱着你的时候，请一定别再挪动脚步，而请转过身，紧紧抱着自己的女人。
　　因为，当一个女人愿意从背后深情抱着你的时候，代表着她把自己的身心都交给了你，那拥抱里，有着太多太多的爱……
　　当一个男人从背后拥抱着自己的女人，两人的感觉是温馨和甜蜜的；当一个女人从背后拥抱着自己的男人，女人是无声的祈求，而男人是心的复归和宁静……

　　亲爱的，我曾经说过，好想累的时候你能抱着我，其实，我何尝不想累的时候，你能在身边，无需太多言语，只要一个拥抱，再苦再累都值得……

　　也好想，能够在你累的时候，从身后环住你的腰，把脸轻轻靠在你的后背，静静地，无需语言，用心灵对话，倾听彼此内心的声音……

　　亲爱的，不能守在你的身边，不能在你伤心难过的时候给你安慰；不能在你累的时候给你拥抱；也不能在你喝醉的时候假装很生气的臭骂一顿，然后再把你带回家；更看不到你面对这么多不可能时的无奈与心酸……

　　可是，我是可以体会你的心情的，因为，在你倍受思念痛苦的同时，我和你是一样的，可是我们别无选择亲爱的……

　　可是，亲爱的，你怎么不在我身边，电话再甜美，话语再安慰，也不足以应付不能拥抱你的遥远。

　　拥抱，真得这么遥不可及吗？

　　请相信我，我会用我的双臂，在你看到我的第一眼时拥你入怀。

　　亲爱的，好想好想你，好想好想累的时候能抱抱你……

一些sweet的话~

2010-05-07T22:40:00.002+08:00

可不可以有一个人。可以看穿我的逞强。可以保护我的脆弱。

不要在我说「没事啦，你去吧」的时候就真的会放心的放开我的手然后留我一个人。
不要在我笑笑的不说话的时候就真的会以为我心里没有觉得疼痛和难过。
不要在我若无其事的忙碌着手头的事的时候就真的会以为我什么影响都没有受到。
我希望他会在我的眼泪掉下以前就用大大的手掌捂住我的眼睛。
然后轻声说我的眼睛只有微笑的时候才是最好看。

我希望他会在我面无表情的时候轻轻的用力的搂紧我。然后说你在我的面前永远都不需要伪装坚强。

我希望他会在我受到委屈的时候把我的脑袋按在他的肩膀上。然后抚着我的头发说没关系就算所有的人都不相信你你都还有我。

咱要嫁的那个人不一定要是高高瘦瘦的但是一定要干干净净
咱要嫁的那个人不一定要会甜言蜜语但是一定要有好的脾气
咱要嫁的那个人不一定要帅气又多金但是一定要有聪明的头脑和上进心
咱要嫁的那个人一定会从我们牵手那刻起对我说从今天起我们有福同享有难我当
咱要嫁的那个人一定要霸道些他会对我说我认定你了就赖你了你就是我一个人的我不许别人走近你
咱要嫁的那个人一定会支持我减肥却依然带我去超市给我买很多好吃的然后说吃吧不管你多胖我都要你

咱要嫁的那个人一定会在过马路的时候牵着我的手对我说要跟我走
咱要嫁的那个人一定会明白老婆是用来疼的而且会吹着快乐的口哨和我一起做家务
咱要嫁的那个人一定会在我生气的时候耐心的哄着然后逗我说你生气的样子好丑
咱要嫁的那个人一定会在我哭的时候为我擦眼泪然后告诉我乖不哭有我在呢
咱要嫁的那个人一定会在我累的时候伸出手臂很心疼的说抱抱
咱要嫁的那个人一定会在睡觉前跟我说你要早点睡觉晚安
咱要嫁的那个人一定会把我带回家对他妈说看这是我给你找的儿媳妇然后对我说这是咱妈
咱要嫁的那个人一定会在某一个阳光明媚的日子顶着一片湛蓝的天笑着对我说我们该有个家了

Something to Share~

2010-05-06T22:19:00.000+08:00

memang love it. =D

我要出门！！！

2010-04-23T23:24:00.003+08:00

最近好少出门！星期日wai hoong 约我们出去聚一聚~去什么hills看日出哦！那么烂漫~哈哈~

都不知道成不成，不过很想见见他们。。。都没什么时间。。。还有还有，明天可以去逛街啦！要去多买几套rock衣~呵呵~还有明天可以跟老妈和老弟去看《初恋红豆冰》，不知道效果出来是如何，毕竟我从不支持马来西亚作品，哈哈~

*说明一下那张图。哈哈由于92年都是属猴嘛~有刚好那么可怜被困在笼子里，就幸运地给我用来写文章啦~哈哈~

最近筹划要跟宝贝‘幽会’！！虽然说老妈警告了不准。。。不过，管他的~哈哈~

守护者

2010-04-23T22:55:00.002+08:00

每个人身边都有守护天使，你，有没有咧？

上次我无聊去玩FB的心理测验（宝贝讲是心理不平衡的人才玩的，结果我讲我玩爽的，他竟然说我心里不爽，对咯，不爽你，哈哈！），结果测出，我身边没有守护天使！！哈哈！说我不相信他们，所以他们也没有必要守护我。很好笑咯。。。

哈哈，昨天晚上宝贝睡着了，我还欠他几句‘话’，就自创一些信息给他，结果今天出来‘成绩’很满意~哈哈~他跑去和朋友看戏了，在家的我，很无聊耶~

算了，去睡觉~

某些人，某些事

2010-04-22T15:07:00.002+08:00

抱歉没有图画啦，但是想说一下，虽然没人看。哈哈~

那个那个。。。我去了大学跟我同班的一个男生的部落格看，哇。。深藏不露哦。当他讲到他朋友的时候，更加有感情。哈哈~

对了，人家都叫他‘蛋挞’，因为他名字叫keng tat。我跟他不熟，但是他每次在班上看到我都会叫‘zero’ ‘zero’ 这样，哈哈。但是他又叫到像‘鸡肉’~我看他好像很安静，其实内心不知道多么多事情。他也是想念朋友。

好啦好啦，今天到此。。。还有功课。。T.T

ps:heheh, i really wanna do it the way ah xiang did to xiu, give u my soul and lock myself to u. F3.... though i don't know why i like u so much.. but, it's a good thing since... no guys could let me do that. =D looking forward to the day we meet and get our things!

原来女生的告白是~~~

2010-04-22T14:47:00.000+08:00

是把三魂七魄戒套在男生手上！意思就是，我今生就把三魂七魄交给你，没有你在身边，我就没有三魂七魄。终极三国的阿香，是这样向脩告白的~超酷~

现在的人！无知~

2010-04-19T20:58:00.002+08:00

不要以为常常吹水的人很厉害哦，好像自己很会这样。其实，沉默寡言的人，才是最深藏不露的~

哈哈哈！

SURPRISE!!

2010-04-14T23:26:00.002+08:00

not my birthday don't worry!!! XD

today, i was exhausted. while dragging my heavy body back home, i was curious why is my dining room's light and fan are on. but i didn't really bother since i was so tired!! and guess what, my 'kakak' came out and distracted me and i heard someone calling my name. huh, i don't think i have any problem with my ears and guess what's next...

hachiko standing inside my house!!! =D WHAT A SURPRISE. i screamed inside my throat and went in front and hugged her so tight!! =D

well, we chatted la. but not long. after that we sent her to her fren's house near our area and so. one day~ =D

p/s: somethin bad happen... T.T

原来遗漏了最重要的....心情

2010-04-12T19:24:00.000+08:00

写完了上一篇，心里头还是很沉重，想了一下，原来我忘了写下我跟宝贝的一些小东西！

哈哈！别怀疑，就是我的宝贝。不是那些陪我睡觉的小老虎玩偶，或者我的手机啊还是一些小物品，是人~

爱情这种东西。。。我本来不是很喜欢。。。因为，爱这个字，很沉重。就像恨！但是，大家好像忽略了一些事。你喜欢那个人，就要把爱常常挂嘴边吗？恨，是一个负面感情很浓的词；难道爱，就可以被我们这些还乳臭未干，甚至连什么是爱情都一知半解的小孩子一直对男女朋友说的？

好，你不明白？我再解释。懂不懂什么叫爱？男女互相喜欢叫爱？可以牵手和接吻了的情侣就可以常常说爱？那些还都只是喜欢。顶多，是最高级的喜欢加est~哈哈，还不能是爱。爱，是你愿意为对方死，甚至牺牲性命。比如，亲情，那个就有爱。友情，友爱嘛，你爱你的朋友就像爱你的兄弟姐妹一样。爱情咧？你试看叫你的另一半为你去死，我看你还没开口他就已经不懂死到哪去了~哈哈哈！

所以，我跟宝贝都没有说我爱你。。。都说我喜欢你而已。反而让我觉得他是真心的~天天我爱你，不闷吗？那种甜到腻的爱情，我谢绝。。。

可以说我跟宝贝的日子都很平凡，很愉快。但是最近，他好像开始烦恼了。他那个开心果竟然也会有压力。我也不知道他在压力些什么，也无法帮上什么。。。前几次，很抱歉都是我甩掉男生，可这次。。。我有一种他会甩了我的第六感。哈哈，好奇怪。。不过我也害怕自己是贪新鲜，因为是我初次尝试姐弟恋，不过年龄真的不是限制你的理由。希望是我想太多咯。。。

=)

久违的文笔

2010-04-12T19:05:00.000+08:00

今天那么心血来潮要写，是因为听了某些话。

我那个不了解我的父母亲（相信天底下没有特别了解孩子的父母吧？），一直说我坐在电脑前面是在玩电玩。是，我很不愿意地承认我大多数时间在玩，可是我除了在玩，也有做别的东西的。比如写下我的歌词，写部落格，之类。

你们以为画画这一行真的是容易吗？告诉你，画画比科学还难！你以为随便画两笔就是画画？放屁！

跟你说，绘画，需要做很多研究，还要靠观察力，又要训练你的绘画技巧，而且一松懈下来就很难再跟上。而且用电脑设计也不是容易的事哦！

今天是我大学开课第一天，感觉嘛。。。很不一样。钻研艺术这一行的讲师就是不一样，说话还有观察力都很好。

拿一个最简单的例子好了。别人拿一幅画给你看。你可能会考虑到，如果这幅画太丑，你又不好意思说不好看，你只会敷衍地说：不错不错。可是不错在哪里？问到这里，你是不是无言了？哈哈，如果你说人家的画不错，那还得说得明确一点，比如说你画的人物构造很好啊，但是背景怎样怎样。

还有。。。我真的不希望自己被折磨了两年而栽培出来的‘高’程度母语被慢慢埋没！我想是时候拼命写，一直写！才能继续写出好东西来。至于有没有人肯耐着性子看完我的‘生活写照’，我已经不是很在乎了~

-今天，上课第一天感想，完-

后录：真的很讨人厌！！！！！！！！！！！哼！

=)

2010-03-23T14:27:00.002+08:00

喜欢很单纯；爱很沉重。我宁愿一个小男孩追着我跟我说“我喜欢你”，也不要一个大男孩天天跟我说没有意义的“我爱你”。

it's funny to see how things come and go, and people changed. =D

went through a course crisis... struggling whether to take fine art (boring one), or illustration (more to my style). its hard to decide, and i don't go for illustration because of future and the money, i go for it because i like it!! gee, why can't you understand? i can decide whether to not work for people or work. even if i really did WORKED for people, i won't be like the working style people. grrr!

.....

2010-03-21T23:17:00.001+08:00

想念，很痛苦；得不到你日夜思念的人的答复，更痛苦。

之前还觉得暧昧比男女朋友好，可是现在，我知道，有些事，暧昧，没有办法给你安全感。

想念，是什么味道？

2010-03-15T23:52:00.002+08:00

想念是什么味道呢？好像带点苦涩和甜甜的。糖果加药一样！哈哈。

你也会一样想念我吗？

p/s: i passed the stupid driving test. XD but.. with coppi money inside. =.= that sucks.

and yeap like bel said in maple... F3, they joined! so happy to have them! =D kakakaka!

Everthing Comes To An End

2010-03-01T20:56:00.002+08:00

"Sooner or later, we just gotta wake up..."

The KO series i was 'chasing' has finally ended... WELL!! i feel so empty right now!! T.T and then Fairy Tail is currently updating so... omg, i'm left with nothing all of the sudden! and i think i should go back to the normal life now... college, DRIVING, sleep early wake up early, practice piano practice guitar. no more movies and maple.. T.T shyt i don't want! its like you gotta wake up in the end of the dream! yea and black cat ended with Train and Saya walked past each other on the street.. .T.T sadnya!

erm, comp too slow so don't wanna upload pics le. haha go find yourself if you wanna know what's KO and which black cat. XD

KO 3anguo<<<----- taiwanese drama.
Black Cat<<<---- anime!! hehe and of course don't forget the very original manga.

Long time...

2010-02-27T00:14:00.002+08:00

long time didnt post le~ XD u guys still okay? very bored stayin at home. =D well~ nothin much to say, just mapling, staying at home, getting close to someone, XD really damn close. XD hmm, and, got dizzy cuz drank a lot also. today my neighbourhood party, my bro's fren challenged me, so i drank and then.. didnt know i'd get dizzy so fast. =x

kkay, off to bed now. *yawn*

Something unbelievable II

2010-02-10T00:18:00.003+08:00

Innocent faces, now painted with maturity and....? haha, well, things changed, people changed~ but some changed in a good way~

Lol, don't be surprise cause meeting peoples i used to know is getting so familiar now, haha what can i say, the world is just full of surprise! =)

okay, i think i should start off from primary?

Was in 6Y, so i had 3 best friends, Kylin, YongYing and Emily.
p/s: Pei Ning, you always were!! just that we don't quarrel. XD haha~

okay, something happened and we end up apart, well come to think of it i think it was my fault haha, so we stayed broken this way for 5 years. I always regret that i didnt keep in touch with them, well and i feel awkward too cause i don't know what do they think about me since then. =/ so, well yongying went new zealand, emily dunno went where sia, haha, and...

Yee Wen tagged 6Y's photo and brought us back together, i mean the whole 6Y class. it's funny to see how they talked about lee lao shi, and talk about how ppl changed, LOL, and guess what i saw KYLIN!! XD well, not saw, i mean 'saw' in FB. XD

yeah, and!! guess what, we sorted things out! OMG so cool, i never really dreamed about it, it was a BONUS in my life!! =D so happy! well well, =) hope this time is best friend forever! i don't mind we weren't friends when we graduated during primary, cause now we are~ =)

Something unbelievable

2010-02-02T12:35:00.003+08:00

You won't be able to believe that 'fate' really exist unless you've tried.

Well, before maple episode 2 was out, i used to play private server, and then in those private servers, i get to know this guy named cIoudzdragon~ haha used to train together, and hey we were in the same state! Okay, we got each other's number but due to me having spm last year and this year he's having pmr, so we seldom sms.

AND!!! while playing the new episode 2 maple story (genuine), haha, i invited a guy into my guild, ps i'm just jr master. well, we chat and then it was like...

"Zig, i heard u're a girl!!"
"F7, who told you!"
"obama's wife."
"o.o?"
and then cherry came in,
"who who?"
"cherry you told leo i was a girl?"
"no no nonoooooooooo"
"ala, nvm la."

and then the conversation keeps on till....

"zig, gimme ur fb and see whether u're a girl!"
"tell me ur name first."
"XXXXXXXX."
"o.o omg! ur email?"
"XXXXXXXXX@hotmail.com"

then i went searching on my fb to see whether it was him! and bingo!

"omg!!! you really are XXXXX."
"hu u???"
"cloudzdragon??"

"omg...."
"you're.... xiro?"

"yea!!!"

and then we spent the rest of the time saying how impossible and unbelievable it was to met each other in the same gateway, same server and same guild!

notes: i was playing a guy character in the game.

重拾画笔

2010-01-25T12:09:00.003+08:00

再过几个月，我就需要重返校园生活了，只不过这一次，是大学。虽然大家问了我好多次，不过我还是需要说明一下，我要读的，是纯美术。

自从毕业了之后，我一直都是呆在电脑前面玩，昨天呢，看了我玩的那个角色，我下定决心，要把它变成我的画。不过，当然还是抄别人的，哈哈，所以你会觉得那幅画有点眼熟（凡是玩过Maple Story 的 Aran 就会知道了）。

另外，还要说，一位好朋友出国了，会想念她~~ is yi xin~~

最后，龙舟那个事件已经没有再报道了，希望大家都能再振作起来，当然也别忘了去看看Campaign17关怀那些年仅17 却经历了生死离别的少年少女们。

Campaign 17

2010-01-21T21:15:00.003+08:00

“狼，原本就是群居动物；人类，也是群居动物。如果少了同伴，我们就像迷路的狼一样，孤独，悲伤。”

有看报纸，而且是华文报（其他的就不确定）的应该都知道钟灵学校龙舟的事吧？

今天看到他们的报导，还是忍不住哭了。

感觉不到？好。你设身处地去想，想象如果你是他们，在等待朋友活着回来的时候，你是多么地用力去祷告，结果，就回来的。。。。去想那种感觉，你就会有一种要窒息的悲伤涌上来。

有一个男孩，叫PeeLiBoy，他是生存者，特别创了Campaign 17 这个blog 来纪念全部牺牲的朋友。

我真的觉得，人，好像越来越不珍惜身边人了。这个，已经无法理解了。再来！我们的死政府到底要死了多少人，才会提高安全措施，还有提高警惕啊？！

好久了！！

2010-01-18T22:36:00.002+08:00

时间果然不饶人，就像刘力扬的那首歌‘礼物’一样，有一句是这样唱的：

世上最残酷的恐怕是时间，捆住人，一切却还向前。

真的说到心坎去了。

最近又回归Maple Story World，哈哈，终于冲到 Lvl 55!! 太不可思议了！还用真钱买了一些A-cash衣服，哈哈，是跟着Bel去买的。还有那可爱的狼~~高兴死了！

现在，喝着我喜欢的Apple Juice，然后回来post 一些东西，因为太久没有来，不太好~哈哈！从korea那边买了渴望已久的mp3~现在可以天天听歌~太棒了~

唉，不过还是很闷啊。。。

看来我真的有一段时间没上来了。。很多事都变了，例如，某个朋友跟某个朋友拍拖了~我很替他们高兴~看起来就很登对嘛~还有就是我也和他分开了。哈哈，回归自由。嗯，接下来的事，应该就是上大学咯~~

期待~

~.~

2010-01-05T11:38:00.001+08:00

lol.... damn sien, all of them are starting school soon, and i'm gonna stay at home.. lonely~~ i'm mr. lonely~~~ i have nobody~~ on my own~~~ ohhhh~~~

White Christmas~

2009-12-26T23:24:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas! err, that was yesterday.. okay, Happy new Year!!!

Right! so, i'm back, from Korea.

There are good news, and bad news.

Good news is, i took damn a lot of pictures! Happy yea? XD

Bad news is!! I lost my damn camera.... Sad yea? I JUST FELT LIKE HITTING MYSELF ON THE WALL!!! URGH!

LOL don't feel like posting anything more, well... no pictures.. its just so hard to share! T.T

okay, nevermind, i still share a bit, sorry about the all-word-post.

21st:

well, first day, it was -10degree celcius. haha freezing!!! @.@ its like so cool that u can breath out and see your own smoke.. XD okay u might not understand. haha.

of course, we didn't go around like lost cows in the city, my father's colleague or friend i think, Uncle Kim, haha, was our tour for the first 4 days, or 3 days, @.@ it was so fun. First day's special event was erm, we went to the 'cinema', then watched a live show called 'Nanta', means simply beat anything to produce sound. it was cool~

22nd:

We went erm, shopping. yea.. bought presents and foods and stuffs? warmer now. XD

23rd:

Went Lotte World, somehow the Korea's sunway lagoon~ haha! and went shopping again in some place, and this is the damn day i lost my camera! grr! no mood edi...

24th:

checked out and checked in to ski resort. went skiing! first time skiing and first day seeing a huge snow field, yea~ excited. so.. thought our skiing coach was a girl, end up being a guy. mmhmm? but never mind, he was okay. so, we ski lor, nice feeling. XD and then this coach was like so cute and kinda short for guys, end up he was already 27! hahah, name's Kim Sun-Gu. the night was cool with all the fire works and so.

25th:

Merry White Christmas! i had a nice snowy christmas on this day. haha, went for skiing again, cuz it's continuous so yea.. while skiing it just 'rained' and too cold so it became snow. yeahhh~~ then the coach suddenly say aiya! yesterday all the ski instructors were carrying an 'obor' and actually performed some heart shape like thing.. yeah. i only got to watch on his i-phone, haha! and yeah, tomorrow we'll be leaving this lovely country so, my dad invited the coach for dinner, and told him to bring his girlfriend, haha!

and so!! dinner time! Sun-Gu really brought a girl, but just a friend? ahhah, not sure la. her name is Jung Hee, he made fun of him saying Jung Hee meant paper in korean, and her surname was Han, means 1, so add up all, it means 1 paper! lol!! hahah, they were all nice people~ XD it was funny listening to their conversation in korean, though i dont understand la, but a bit a bit la. cuz Jung Hee's english was better than Sun-Gu's, so whenever we joked about him, Jung Hee laughed then he'll go: what what what?? hahah, funny guy. but he acted like he's not 27!! really!! =.= too cute la. then we took pic under the snowy field, then Jung Hee asked for a favor to go to our resort cuz she never got a chance to be there, Sono Felice, so yeahh, haha, walked there, snowing. snowing!!! XD cool! thought we got to contact each other yea, but still, miss them. XD she gave us the lil phone deco she just bought, aww.. then its there on my phone now. haha.

26th:

we're back, Malaysia!

forgot to mention, it was -10 degree celcius too when we went back.

YingYi's Surprise Party~

2009-12-14T23:51:00.002+08:00

Picture waiting to be grabbed

Guess what, Eunice invited me to this surprise party like last few weeks. I was so anxious, thinking omg will YingYi feel surprise? Blah blah blah. Plus 14th was the day we have chinese paper! Wuu god~

Okay so straight to the point, Eunice succeeded, YingYi's surprise, very very surprise! And yea, i got a hug! XD So cool~ It's been ages since i last saw her. Lol she called me XN, i was kinda not used to it, hahah~ Err the funny part is there's this guy, Wei Bin ah, he got his hair cut like 张飞~ hahah~ u might not know who's this la~ I just find it interesting. Then saw Eng Khoon lo, Kah Yi, Eunice of course, Meng Pei, Yin and Yun, Lai Yee, JC, errr, guys huh... Brian/Bryan, haha, i saw him before when i was still in Bu4, erm, one more guy.. tak tau the name, sorry.

I just had fun! Get to hug everyone before going back, that's fascinating~

回我那开朗的朋友话

2009-12-14T23:40:00.002+08:00

哈哈，我又来啦？对不起啦，又弄你哭了。
哦，抱歉，是我想太多了~ 我下次要找你，就直接打电话好了！

啊，小姐啊~ 成熟也还是会有感情的啦~ 不会哭哭啼啼的确值得开心了~ 但是感觉很陌生~ 不过听你这么说，我还是决定为你开心~ 嗯，会控制情绪是好事~ 加油~ 不过不要变成压抑就好了~

人会变没错，很感伤的，有时想起。只要还是好朋友，不管再遥远都没有问题~ 今天跟你讲电话之后不会觉得尴尬，所以我觉得好多了~ 我也是有读到一句：真正的好朋友不是有千言万语，而是就算没说话也不会觉得尴尬~ 所以，我们之间，应该没问题了，就是像你说的一样，距离遥远了点，话少了点。

哈哈，让我想起那句：不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有，看来真的很红啊这句。好吧，我们不但只有回忆，还有现成的友情。值得欢呼了~

没有啦~ 你有你的伟大嘛~ 别那样说，我有的回忆都是美好的~ 就算真的有不好的，已经过滤咯。
哈哈，你没做错啦，伤心也是因为在乎啊。

就那次唱你啊~ 好啦，很抱歉。

人会变，说的是真的

2009-12-05T14:21:00.003+08:00

以前那个会笑又活泼的女生去了哪里？以前那个会为了我特地留在学校的女孩去了哪里？以前那个不管我发多大脾气还是会在我身边的女孩去了哪里？

以前。。。是我好朋友的那个女孩。。。去了哪里。。。

人家说有报应，是真的。我不懂得珍惜你，现在，当我看到你和别人更开心时，其实应该高兴有人可以再度让你笑出来，可是，心里，还是忍不住痛了。真的是报应啊。

以前，的确是受不了你常常哭，因为那些眼泪流在你脸上，痛在我心里。人事已非，这句实在用的好啊。。

是我的错，没能好好联络你们。打从一开始要走的时候，我已经有心理准备我们不会是那么地健谈了。但奇怪，时间一到，事实摆在眼前，难免有些落寞。我去你的部落格留言，你也不多说。信息你，你也只是笑笑说谢谢。曾经，我是最了解你的，但是，那也只是曾经了。我认定了是我的错，在背后唱你，没错，我是王八蛋。

我一直以为自己学会了，原来我还是什么都不会。

我不知道是什么事让你变得没有感情了，这样的你，变得好陌生。你的确是已经不在我的身边了，而我也不能强留你。希望。。。我们还是可以像以前一样。。。不过，好像已经不太可能了。

回想

2009-12-05T13:43:00.002+08:00

刚补完习，因为是最后一天，所以想了很多。我们这群好像从form 1 就开始补了吧，虽然感情没什么好，哈哈，但是还是会有眷恋啦。

我记得，form 4 那年我们补到没地方可补了，因为那时好像是教育部抓的很严，只要一收到邻居的控诉说哪里哪里教补习吵到他们，那些人就来。老师怕造成困扰，就让我们一群人到她家里补。哈哈，老师的家小小间的，也因此拉近了我们的距离。我不晓得别人怎么想，但是那窝心的感觉，就像一家人。

我们form 5 的时候，老师就顺利找到补习中心了，班级也越扩越大，那种一家人的感觉已经随时间流逝，取而代之的，是极商业化的补习课。

然后，我觉得值得一提的是，我们班的才子。。。哈哈。他给我的印象就是，好玩、自由、吊儿郎当、神出鬼没、很难捉摸，但是文笔又好到不行，而且还很有创意。老师也蛮喜欢他的吧。不过，可惜我只有他写的一篇作文，老师复印给全班的。一直以来，我们都没说过什么话，这是我有点遗憾的。我只记得我们交谈过的只有一句：

“某某来过了吗？”

然后就没了。哈哈！我跟他另一个朋友就比较有聊，但是见面还是没在聊。。

我看，如果明天就是世界末日，我会冲上前跟他说：

“我很欣赏你，所以我们做个朋友吧。”

你的赞美，我不会忘记

2009-11-21T20:57:00.003+08:00

我遇到了一个女孩，让我毕生难忘。她不知道她长得如何，但是，我知道，无论她长得如何，只要她的心美，去到哪里，都行。继我自己之后，她是第二个，比任何人都了解我的人。可能是因为，我们都是同样星座，也可能是因为，她有用心了解我，欣赏我。当下，我觉得，只要有一个人能真正了解，那就行了。我顿时觉得，有没有人欣赏我，都没关系。

她说我，和别人不一样。记忆最深刻的，还是当我和她分享自己观察到的成果时，她总是可以很真诚、很热心地回复我，还可以鼓励我。就像我说，世界上的人，可以分类成warrior, mage, thief, bowman等等。当我说，自己不能像武士那样有力量时，她会安慰我。当我发现自己竟然是最讨厌的mage时，她还会说那就代表着聪明和智力。

每次在她需要我的时候，我都可以发觉，她曾经这样说过。今天，她又说，她不喜欢自己太依赖别人，尤其是我。我笑说，让别人依赖，好像变成了我活着的使命。
“现在的女孩子哪有像你这样说的，你不觉得自己很男孩？”
我笑得更厉害。这样，才让我更特别，不是吗？我说。
也是啦，让女生依靠，但有问题时却自己躲起来，这些，好像都是男生的性格。可是我觉得很有趣！在这之前，她还赞说，她喜欢我对人生独特的看法，就像我喜欢观察人的举动还有从小事情中学习或发现新东西。她认为，没有多少人，可以这样做。哈哈，其实，她不知道，也没有多少人，可以谅解我这么做。所以，她，是第一个。

从今以后，我还是会继续守护她。如此美丽的性格，若没有好好保护，世界，会摧毁她的。

热巧克力 Hot Chocolate

2009-11-11T20:29:00.003+08:00

今天又跟老妈去那间餐厅吃晚餐。我又点了热巧克力。哈哈~还是好喝到不行！

在等老妈去夜市买菜的时候，我就按着手提电话的music file 来看，就看到了我以前为了bel 的生日和八仔绞尽脑汁谱出来的歌曲，once。听着听着，我突然好想念八仔，虽然说每天在学校都有得见面，可是感觉距离很遥远。

上次她跟我说，跟另一个朋友比较亲近了之后，我就有点伤心了。可是为了她的幸福，我还是说，只要你高兴就好啦。因为我知道现在的我应该不能时时刻刻陪她，就在我有了另一半之后。上次有和我们的‘妈妈’谈到，八仔是时候长大了，但是我们依然会在旁边协助她。

我还托负‘妈妈’到了Australia之后好好看着她，因为我可能没办法跟她如愿，到Australia，像那个动画Nana和她的八仔一样，住在同一个屋檐下，一起生活，一起分担生活中的一切。

明年。。The Next Year..

2009-11-10T19:59:00.004+08:00

我突然想起《夏日之诗》纷飞跟夏日说过，跨年，该用什么方式告别今年。不过是个日子嘛，何必费心机？但是纷飞说，如果你知道有许多人的生命可能连这一天都无法跨过，这世纪的交换，对他们来说，是多么的重要。。。

刚刚翻开那个学校的school academic calender, 上面写着明年2010年一月开学，我突然觉得好寂寞。因为，明年，我就不用再上学了。上了那么多年的课，明年竟然不用再早早起身，不用再赶巴士，不用再烦恼朋友们会不会今天又不来上课，这么多不用，还真不习惯。不止是不习惯，我还会觉得，寂寞和伤心。想想，中学生涯，真的好精彩。人生的大部分，好像都留在了中学。我不理大学有多好玩啦，我只知道，中学的记忆，肯定还会留在脑海里，直到永远。

I was flipping through the yellow coloured school academic calender when my mum asked me about the school holidays. And there i saw, 2010 Jan, school reopen. I felt.. so not used to it, cause next year, i don't need to go to school, anymore! Its like you hoped for it for the past few years, you hope that you don't have to wake up early in the morning anymore, wished that you could ponteng school and stay at home so that you can accompany your comp more. But when the time really comes, you'd think, how i wished i won't graduate! Secondary school life is the best, that's what we said. And yea its true, even my parents said so. Well... at least the memories are still there. XD

haha, i'm bored and here's a tag!

2009-11-07T22:41:00.002+08:00

1. Do you have secrets?

everyone has one or two.

2. Would you fall in love with a guy/gurl younger than you?

always do... sigh. haha~ if birthday is also counted?

3. Do you enjoy going to college?

i think so. might not be as fun as in secondary i suppose.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

no idea~ i'll keep it first

5. Will you fall in love with your friend?

havent u heard... friends>>love>>friends. haha! that's the sequence! so why not?

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

err, being loved by someone u loved! that's more blessed. =p

7. List 5 current favourite songs:(for now)

endless story, Yuna Ito
千年之恋，信乐团
如果我变成回忆，tank
够爱，东城卫
泪了，曾沛慈

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

ahah.... give up la

9. List 5 favorite TV shows

wuhoo, tv show?
KO 3anguo
KO class
KO family
blahhh, i dont really watch tv shows.

10. Do you have any regrets?

fucking got, haha~

11. Would you be the person that you are if you were to be reborn?

yeah man, will live once again.

12. What do you want the most at the moment?

do what i want to

13. What kind of person do you think the person that tagged you is?

haha a sweet person

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

single and rich... sounds better to me. haha~

15. What is your favourite color?

black, sky blue, purple.

16. Would you give all in for a relationship?

haha, depends how much i love the person

17. If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, which one would you choose?

the one i love more?

18. What are the top 5 bands that you listen to or love?

black stones!
err, 东城卫
lamonxe~ (kao! ur own band...)
avenged sevenfold...
dunno....

19. Name 3 things you would like to do but never able to.

the one and only thing, being rebellious!

20. People I have tagged

tag urself if you want~ haha, if u're bored just go ahead and answer these ques~

我看到。。。。

2009-11-05T20:37:00.002+08:00

今天等八仔的时候，看到学校某人和某人甜蜜牵手，呜呼呼~很甜哦~

然后我就想到了，如果我现在单身，肯定会觉得寂寞。现在，我却不是空窗期，所以，我就马上想到他。其实，有一个人在旁边支持你，在你冷的时候牵你的手，是很幸福的事。。我可能忽略了。

因此~~~

叔叔，有你在真好~

2009-11-04T21:44:00.002+08:00

温暖，不是像冬天有暖气炉；甜蜜，不是像吃了糖果；信任，不像嘴巴说说而已。
温暖、甜蜜、信任，是有你在身边。

我不要求当你的他，只祈求能当你每晚熟睡后替你关灯的人。就算面对任何困境都会挨过去只为了明天看见的第一个人是你。

5 Beta Geek 26: Nat

2009-11-04T21:39:00.002+08:00

Lookie at her! she's a straight forward girl, dulan or angry, she'll just yell out. to me, she's manly! haha, than any other guys. Manda and Hanis' gang.

hhaa, yeaaa.

5 Beta Geek 25: Khairi

2009-11-04T21:07:00.002+08:00

Lol, to me, he's a guy that doesnt have the 'taste' of malay anymore, heard he was in canada for most of the time, until he transferred to our school. haha, a tall guy, also another great football player, his BM is like a foreigner speaking BM, but his english, is fluent! i think that's kinda twisted. haha~

he used to sit beside me during form 4, haha, we didnt talk much, and he treated me as a nerd like others did, and yea, for quite some time, he made my day, unconsciously la. haha, wanted to thank him all the time, though he might think he did nothing~

Masterpiece of Bel's

2009-11-03T22:03:00.002+08:00

Beta Motion 1

Beta Motion 2

Non-betarians, omg, please dont even blink your eyes!

5 Beta Geek 24: Imran

2009-11-03T21:56:00.004+08:00

We call him: monkey boy! reason: sorry to say but he really looks like one! haha~

a very surprising thing, he cried on graduation night! haha! he's one active guy in our class, hyper, great football player(even went to brazil!), a humorous fella. he's one of the them who makes our class great and interesting. rather charming in his own way, haah, he's the Malay gang in our class, can tell, i know. his gang: Khairi, Sean. lol~

one more sick thing, he's levin's gay partner! lol~ who's levin, go back to 5 beta geek 1! hahaha~ by the way, they were just playing, dont take it seriously, both were normal. =D

5 Beta Geek 23: Tek Kin

2009-11-03T21:53:00.002+08:00

Another unfamiliar fella, but still, he's one of Beta, no choice~ haha! i remember he was quite a close one to Bel, but now....

Err, from my point of view, he's Nat best friend. And according to Nat, he's sensitive~ lol, but the way i see him, he's a rather caring guy, too caring i can say, but that's what makes him good and rare~ XD

5 Beta Geek 22: Hanis

2009-11-03T21:49:00.002+08:00

Lol, please forgive my 'god-speed' post, i wanted to introduce my lovely classmates as soon as possible before my mom boycott me from my comp!

Hanis, i dont really know her, yet, i can still tell, Manda and Nat's close friend. Her oral test made me remember her even more, which is she did a lil' comment for each and everyone of us in 5 Beta, and i was an anime character in her eyes! fyi, she says she loves anime.. hahah!

well, and that is Hanis. and yea, one thing i like about her is, she's creative.

5 Beta Geek 21: John

2009-11-03T21:46:00.003+08:00

Had graduation, but i still wanna continue this Beta Geek thing~ =D

alright, here, John, buddy! Not much people know how to appreciate him, but he was always there for me, as a friend! haha, a buddy, yea. he's helpful, seriously, though sometimes random when he'd punch someone or just make you angry, despite his bad! haha~

lol, thanks for everything~

5 Beta On Move

2009-10-25T11:43:00.001+08:00

我觉得自己.....

2009-10-25T01:39:00.002+08:00

夜深人静，突然间收到一个曾经那么好的朋友的信息，上面写着。。。

‘我讨厌你。’

不用我说，就算多久没联络了，突然一句讨厌，还是会有很大的杀伤力。我看，我应该真的很讨人厌。我应该知道为什么她会讨厌我。我这个人，说话很厉害，但是兑现诺言的时候，好像都走人了。是吗？

你们。。。是不是也是这样看待我？

领好人卡，其实很难的。我知道自己有多么多么地讨人厌啦，我知道。

随便啦，总之现在犯人是我，矛头都是指向我。

你，满意了吧？

we graduated, in such a short time....

2009-10-24T00:25:00.002+08:00

I couldn't forget the first day i got into 4 Beta... Omg, i really don't like this class, i thought.
But who knows, that, we 5 Beta went through so many things, and we just had our graduation night, today. 23rd october 2009, a day i would never forget.

lol, come to think of it, i havent even finish my 5 Beta Geek... and now we're going to separate! The 2 difficult days i spent trying to make the greatest multimedia presentation for my beloved class, is actually worth it. Knowing that i will be carrying panda eyes to the school next day, but i insisted staying up till 3am or more just to finish the mmp. And today, when the whole class, including parents and other students and vip, were getting silent when 5 Beta's multimedia presentation was shown on the big screen, i know its worth it to stay up so late. Receiving compliments from Shelly and Levin simply made my day. You know a simple sentence like 'good job' can actually change someone's life? That was what i meant.

I REALLY LOVE 5 BETA.

To the guys who cried, Imran and Aaron, and later on Levin, i love u guys. Haha. I just love 5 beta!

oh yea, even if it was the great day for us, we still get scoldings. XD haha, this is really fate.

Yea, 5 Beta, I LOVE YOU AND I'LL MISS THE DAYS! you know, who knows we might have a reunion next time, talking about how we cried on graduation and the times we spent together, making fun of teachers, being crazy and retarded in the class and also the days when we're young. =)

原来我叫夏日 Summer Dayy~

2009-10-19T17:10:00.003+08:00

最近在那个论坛，已经遇到了好多朋友。尤其是一个可以分享写作的朋友。她叫阿Gin。不错啊。她的blog果然是我喜欢的那种味道，艺术气息。

她的blog叫《梦乡咖啡馆》，听起来就像是那种电影名称，哈哈！如果有这部电影，我肯定去看。

然后，对了，夏日嘛，就是为了纪念她。那个喜欢散步，喜欢胡思乱想的女生。

其实这个时候，我根本不应该上网啊，看电视啊，或什么的，因为。。考试！！干！心情不好。

久违 long time~~

2009-10-13T21:51:00.000+08:00

哇，荒废了！！

最近事情有些许变化，是好的变化吧？

哇。。。考试要来了，其实有很多话想写，不过没空。

加油！

lol, sorry for ditching you so long,, my blog!! =D

haha, things have been doing good these days. Wanted to write about how it goes but no time! ohh, test is near the corner!!

so good luck everyone!

Horrible Day!!!

2009-10-09T00:51:00.002+08:00

The minute when that teacher came to me, i got a REALLY bad feeling....

STUPID TEACHER I GOTTA REDO THE MMP, AGAIN. though this one was better but i spent the whole day playing hide and seek with the 'library' in corel video studio. couldn't export to a vid so that i can burn to the dvd successfully.

i felt like cryin, seriously. zhilynn left me a comment on my status saying, yea mmp is horrible, all were facing the same faith. haha, i didnt felt alone but i still, wanted to cry. it was so damn perfect that! I JUST GET ONE LAST STEP TO FINISH IT OFF... and i ended up here. god, pls pls pls, i PRAY to you!! dont let me stuck here... i just got one last step, ok?

2009-10-07T20:10:00.003+08:00

当一个人很伤心的时候，他们要的，只是一些安慰，就算没安慰，你静静在旁边候着那个人也是一种安慰。很简单，对吗？但是，达到的人却很少。我说。。。有这么难吗？

Is accompanying me while i'm sad a tough thing? Is it that tough?

一个那么幸福的男人。。。One Happy Man....

2009-10-06T22:59:00.003+08:00

随着年龄的增长，面对生离死别的机率也跟着增加。今天，爸爸又说了，他一个朋友，大家都叫他老总。前几年，我们才到台湾去参加他的婚礼。我没有印象，因为还年轻，太年轻了。只知道，这个叔叔的老婆很漂亮，然后，能在台湾吃到牛肉面，也是托他的福。
As i grow up, the chance of experiencing people close to me leaving me one by one eventually increased. Today, my dad said again, one of his friends, everyone called him Ah Zong. I still remember attending his wedding like few years ago. But i don't really have an idea what was going on, i was still too young. I just know this uncle's wife is beautiful, and i get to eat Beef Noodles was also his 'gift' to us.

世事难料，今天爸爸就抖出他藏在心中几年的秘密。我从楼下上来，那是心里还蛮烦，因为某些事没做好。然后，爸爸叫住我。我就坐在父母房里的大床上。爸爸递上我们一家和老总叔叔的合照。他问我还记不记得这个叔叔。我点头。
Things just went out of expectation most of the time, today dad told us the secret he kinda hid from us for years. I went upstairs, getting quite frustrated with some stuffs. My dad called me. He showed me the picture we took with uncle Zong and his wife on their wedding day. He asked whether i still remember this uncle, so i nodded.

‘他死了。’
'He died.'

吓！！！什么？然后，妈妈随后进来，爸爸又说了同一句话。他说，叔叔去世很多年了，在他结婚不久后。爸爸不敢说出口，到现在才敢开口。爸爸还让我看叔叔寄给他的卡片，里面有着他要娶老婆的喜悦和羞涩。
Serious?! What!!! And then mum came in too, dad repeated the same sentence. He said he wasn't able to tell us even if the uncle had passed away for few years already, yea, not long after his wedding. Dad couldn't tell us, he wasn't able to. And he even showed me the card uncle wrote to him, written how excited he was to be a homey man.

现在，在写着这个post的时候，又听到爸爸说，在老总叔叔下葬的那一瞬间，他忽然想起老总叔叔。感应啊。。。原来是真的。爸爸还称赞那个叔叔说，他待人真诚，很好客。虽然没说，但是我看到爸爸的眼泪。我从没看过爸爸会为了一个朋友那样感伤。原来长大还包含了这些事情。
Now when i'm writing this post, i heard the conversation between dad and mum. The minute uncle was buried, dad suddenly thought of him. So it was true about sensing someone's death, someone dear to you. Dad even praised that uncle was a sincere man, he made friends through his heart. Although dad didnt say out, i could still see his tears rolling. I had never seen my dad getting sad over his friends. And now i know growing up includes experiencing these things.

婚礼前夕，老总叔叔还带着我们去逛夜市。他的朋友作弄他，说：‘老总，你可别忘了你明天还有婚礼啊！！’
The night before uncle's wedding, he even took us for a walk at the night market. His friends kinda teased him, 'Hey Zong! Remember you still have a wedding tomorrow!'

那一句话，好像成了永恒。。。
That sentence made me wanna cry.

但伤知音稀，是真的~

2009-10-06T22:14:00.003+08:00

可啦思刻，他的笔名。喜欢写作，喜欢音乐，喜欢藤井树！还是处女座~太巧了。之前都没怎么在联络，然后在facebook 看到他这样形容自己：我有强盗嘴，但是我很温柔。

没错，他成功钩起我的好奇心，我就留言：我倒想见识你的强盗嘴。

聊着聊着，原来我们很早~~~~~~~~~~就认识了！什么嘛，哈哈，怎么都没在联络。其实，真正吸引我的，还有那一句。

"心与心的相遇，我们就是这一片心空" 阿超就随便说了这句就让这间一点都不特别的酒吧有了个名字....不过由于做招牌的的工人太过白烂,写错改成"星空",每当任何人问为何这叫星空时,我与阿超就必须把这故事再说一篇..."欸,为何这叫星空阿?" 第158篇.......

哈哈，原来他在写故事！去了他的部落格一趟后，突然觉得，他的写作方式子曾相识，原来是那个故事里加了无数次‘干’的藤井树！

那种感觉。。。好像见到了失散多年的兄弟，或者亲友，或者前世知己！随便啦！总之，我终于找到同道中人了！好有，突然想到，难道佳苑曾经提过一个会写故事的男生，就是你？

星空，心空

2009-10-06T18:21:00.002+08:00

"心与心的相遇，我们就是这一片心空"阿超就随便说了这句就让这间一点都不特别的酒吧有了个名字....不过由于做招牌的的工人太过白烂,写错改成"星空",每当任何人问为何这叫星空时,我与阿超就必须把这故事再说一篇..."欸,为何这叫星空阿?" 第158篇.......

哈哈，有点搞笑。

是命中注定，还是偶然？ Is This Fate?

2009-10-06T17:52:00.003+08:00

今天，考那久违的华语。发现到一个事实，我开始对华语生疏了！糟糕，好多字不会写。不过这不是重点。嗯，如果有看我的部落格就知道，我之前有一个post是说‘想牵你的手’，没能写成那个故事，是我的遗憾。今天！！作文第一题就是这个题目！我简直吓呆。哈哈，自己在想，无法完成的事，如果还有第二次机会，我还会不会走回同一条路。

这个摩天轮真伤感哦~又是她的作品之一，美啊！

It's chinese paper today, whoa, its been ages since i last wrote an essay! XD I realized my distance between chinese is getting further away. Haha, yeahh.. Can't remember the words, that's so crazy! But this isn't the main point. If you read my blog, i had a post entitled 'I wanna hold your hands' before, don't i? And guess what, the same exact title came out for the first title in the chinese essay! I was like.. Wow.. haha, shocked!

Anddddd! Another nice pic of Bel's. A camera she had recently? You know using those camera when you just snap and a pic will come out of it? Am i right, Bel? XD Your Diana?? =D

中秋特别伤感 A Sad Festival

2009-10-04T15:23:00.003+08:00

昨天才知道原来婆婆生在中秋，死也在中秋。爸爸说的，中秋他觉得特别伤感，原来就是我婆婆去世的那天。

Heard from my dad, about my grandma was born on chinese calender 15th, which is the mooncake festival day, and then she died on the same day also. when i was posting this, was kinda sad. Didnt want to do so. And, my chinese language bar got problem, what the hell! Maybe i'll just use english.

Btw, i like this photo taken by bel, though a bit scary and she said looks like a woman. haha, Chang Er, the woman who flew up to the moon!!!

习惯可以改变命运咧？ You Can Change Habits, But What About Fate?

2009-10-01T21:23:00.003+08:00

我想起，我喜欢草莓是因为Devil May Cry 的 Dante 喜欢草莓圣代。我就认为，草莓也有点血腥感觉，难怪他会喜欢。还是说是可爱？哈哈。习惯，可以改变的。啊，性格也行。你就是改变了你自己的全身，有些事情就是改变不了。例如，我最不想说的：命运。
I recalled that i liked strawberry was because Devil May Cry's Dante loved Strawberry Sundae. Though, strawberry makes me think of blood too, that's why he'd like it. Or was it cute? haha! We can change habits. Even personality. You can change whatever that's in you, but some things just couldn't change. The worst example, which i really hated to mention: fate.

是啊，命运。好像只要你做错事，都可以怪罪于命运，可是不见得成功的人，说是命运注定他会成功的，好像都是靠自己努力得来的哦。是吗？那么，有些人也许是注定一辈子过平凡生活，平凡生活好啊！那，有些人是注定了一生下来就是沐浴在镁光灯下，哇，有魅力。不过啊，若‘退出江湖’太久，不要再奢望回到江湖上了，因为你那与生俱来的魅力和那股气势或气质会不见的~到头来，还是平凡人一个。不过，还是那句，平凡好啊。世界上百分之八十的人，应该都是平凡人吧~
Hell yea fate. It's like when you did something out of the expectation, you blame it to fate. But for those who were successful, i don't notice any of them saying it was fate! Haha, yea, they earned the success back by themselves. Is it true? Well then, some people are meant to be 'normal', well normal is good~ And some, were born to be famous, with the aura they had. But once they wanna quit and get a normal life, they will never get to come back. Yea, cuz the aura they had, will eventually vanish. And they still end up being 'normal'. But still, normal is good~ 80% of the world is made up of normal people.

你会好奇不平凡的人是怎样？举个例子，最实际的，黄明志。对！就是那个唱negarakuku唱到给人家提出国的。嗯，其实我很欣赏他。‘平凡人’无法接受他，是因为他们平凡，走不出那个无形框框。所谓框框就是，没有尝试突破，或者说，不要突破。他们认为，现状最好，不想改变，还有有话不敢说。黄明志，值得欣赏的部分是，一：他用歌词来代表，虽然浅，而且是我们的母语（就是这点好），但是好笑啊。二来，他敢敢说出来，要骂就骂。他说，周杰伦说屌是流行，黄明志说屌却给人骂。好笑啊~
I guess you're curious about, who's not normal then? For example, yeap, the Malaysian who sang negarakuku until he got kicked out of the country. =p haha, i actually kinda look up to him. Normal people couldn't take him because they're 'normal'. Their mind was somehow closed up, by an unseen barrier. This barrier made them stay in the current condition for years and years, no changes were made, so they are TOO afraid to change. Well this guy! The reason we could admire him and actually LEARN from him is, first: he express his feelings with lyrics, though in the broken chinese we often use to talk with, but its seriously funny! Second: he's mad! He's daring! If he wanted to scold, he'd just scold out. He said, Jay Chou saying 'diao' is cool, but when he says 'diao', he got diu (means he get scoldings and all sort). That's really funny. =D

所以，做事嘛，要从不同的角度看。虽然我还未达到此境界，但是，正在努力中~
And conclusion, we gotta see things from a different view. Though is hard to do so, i'm still trying it. =)

生命中的，人 People You Meet In Your Life

2009-09-30T20:23:00.004+08:00

在生命中啊，有很多种人。
Different people play different role in your life.

哈哈，第一：贵人。遇到他/她，你的生命开始转变。我知道很多人都渴望当别人生命中的贵人，因为，改变别人耶！谁不想？
First: VIP/Blue Blood. When you meet them, your life starts to change, or just turn into another way that you didn't expect it to be. I know humans will definitely like this role, well? Changing people's life! For god's sake, who doesn't want to?

第二：路过人。嗯，我已经遇到了，就是，他/她把你的生命点缀得美一些，不过，都只是路过的，他们不会在你的生命中停留，因为他们不属于你的世界。简单来说，就是不会交错的两条直线。
Second: Passerby-s. I met mine. They were playing a role of, passing by your life to make your life better or worst, but they just won't stop by. They're PASSERBY-S. They don't belong to your life. In case you don't get it, means two parallel lines that will never meet.

第三：有缘无份的人。也许你跟他/她很有缘，常碰见，不过要进一步了解时，你们缘分已尽，所以就再见。简单来说，也是点缀的。
Third: Supporting role (no exact word for this in english). Well maybe you often see them in your life, but they just play the supporting role.

第四：有缘又有份的人。嗯哼！很可能是情侣，或者另一半。再不然，就是朋友，好朋友，还有包括亲人。不要以为是一家人就是理所当然，这些还是离不开缘分。有些家，一来就支离破碎了，那就叫没缘分。
Forth: If the main character is you, then they are the 2nd main character. Hmm, possibly your lover, your soul mate. And also friends, best friend, including family. Don't think that family were born to be that way, sometimes if they weren't the main character, they still wouldn't stay in your life long. Like divorced families.

第五：专门搞破坏的。有些人，在你的生命里，就是拼命制造麻烦给你。他们的任务，就是在你的生命里制造麻烦，当你的敌人！不过，说不定他在另一个人的生命里，是贵人。
Fifth: trouble-makers. Yeap, their duty in your life, is to give you trouble! No trouble? Make trouble! Hah, they're your enemy! But who knows they might be the VIP in other's life?

我梦到你！I Dream About Him!

2009-09-23T16:21:00.002+08:00

我不知道为什么我会梦到你，Sieghart. 但是有点。。。哈哈。对于你很爱的Elie，你竟然不睬她？！哈哈，这是我梦到的啦。可能是因为昨晚看着这张图画然后画画吧。不过，生平第一次，梦到anime character，很新奇。

I don't know why i dream about you, Sieghart. haha, quite special. The dream was, you loved Elie a lot, but in this dream, you didn't give a shyt about her. Lol, you kept hurting her. haha, i don't know why i'd dream about dreadful things like this. Maybe it was because i stared at this picture yesterday in order to get inspiration for my drawing. Well, a special dream~

又是一个晴朗的天 Another Nice Day..

2009-09-22T21:21:00.001+08:00

蓝天白云，很好嘛~但是我的心很沉重。真的是像一个石头压在上面。然后，她提醒我去看蓝天。嗯，还好。。哈哈。谢谢啦。

Nice weather. But my heart was really heavy, like having a rock placed on it. Then she reminded me to look at the blue sky. Haha, still... but thanks. =D

不要告诉我你有多么珍惜我 Don't Tell Me How You Appreciate Me When You Don't Even Give A Shyt...

2009-09-20T13:37:00.003+08:00

我现在很赞成，人类，是不懂得珍惜的笨蛋。说一句谢谢，很难？骂人就容易得多了，对吧？好像生你出来时大错特错！变成做什么，都没有用酱！哈哈~算了，我再讲下去，只会变成一个很会抱怨的人而已。

I friggin' agree with humans are idiots who don't know how to appreciate. =.=
It's like, praising someone makes them feel like dying? Scolding is much more easier! Ain't i right?? It's like giving birth to you is the biggest mistake they'd ever did!
I wouldn't wanna say anymore, cuz if i continue, i'll just be another human who likes to 'blame'... GRRRRRR, but i'm really pissed off!!! T.T

Don't pretend like you appreciate me when you don't even give a shyt!

我想握着你的手 I wanna hold your hands

2009-09-19T19:08:00.003+08:00

当这个题目一来，我没办法想象我会怎么回答。但是，过了一会儿，Sieghart的故事从我脑中闪过。嗯。。。就写写看吧！

‘我坐在那一个石头上，刚刚从0015年的你拿过那条项链。我以为我已经无法再在这个时代做些什么，但是现在，我可以做这件事。那就是守护你。你放心，我一定会守护你。因为，我还想握着你的手，保护你。对啊，我还想握着你的手。。。’

When this topic was given by my teacher, i really couldn't answer at first. But, after awhile, Sieghart's story stroked. =D yea... why not write a story bout Sieghart and his feelings to protect Elie?

'I sat on the big stone after i took over your necklace at the year 0015. I thought i couldn't do anything from now onwards, but now, i can still do something. I can still protect you. Don't you worry, i'll definitely protect you. Because, i still wanna hold your hands and protect you. Yea... i still wanna hold your hands...'

*sniff*

到头来，还是.... And here i ended up...

2009-09-17T21:31:00.004+08:00

到最后，我还是需要写双语。我相信有了双语，大家都回跑去看英文的啦~~是吧？
唉~~我为中华文化感到伤心！！*这句我是不会去翻译的！！*哇哈哈哈！

嗯，所以。。不知道要写什么。没什么感觉。。哦，就，我证实了，压力让我的灵感源源不绝，哈哈！现在那股灵感像被切断了一样，不见了。*哭*

对了，由于我的scanner太小，有些画无法挤进来，所以不好意思，无法分享。

In the end, i still need to post in double language... sigh~ I believe for those who knows both language, i'm pretty sure they'll end up reading english version~ =D wahahaah~

Well, so, dont know what to post about. Not much feeling. Oh yea, and now i am certain that my stress is my source of inspiration. haha, I wasn't nervous for trials at all. But for now, the sudden holiday cuts up my source of inspiration, which means... my stress is gone. =D how funny!

And, due to my stupid tiny scanner, some drawings of mine couldn't 'pass' through.. =D so couldn't post up.

嗯，这个嘛，是原本的，还蛮美嘛，就放了上来，虽然没有完全scan进来。
This was the original drawing.. haha, couldn't get a full scan but, hey, its kinda awesome too~ =D

T.T!!!!!

2009-09-15T19:36:00.003+08:00

I just couldn't stand it any longer. I read Rave again.. the part Sieghart died.... thought i could face it again, but i realized i was really shaking and my heart's pounding hard, real hard!

everything made sense.. haha.. so Elie was Resha Valentine.. and she deceived everyone about her death. She wasn't dead... she was alive and even destined to meet both rave masters! haix... imagine that Shiba knew when he was about to die! and Sieghart knew he was gonna stay in Symphonia 0015... to protect Elie. shock shock shock...

when i first saw this skeleton, sitting on the rock placed in front of Resha's grave... i didn't know it was Sieghart. hah, who would have knew? i bet all readers were shocked to know about the truth that the skeleton was Sieg and Elie was Resha!

spoiler i know.. i just couldn't stand the pain anymore.. so sad!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHH....

i know i'm being over, being sad over manga is totally... fool? lol, i dont like it either, but that's what makes me human.

i'm human.

心中的战士 The Warrior in our heart

2009-09-13T13:32:00.004+08:00

最近有很多事情开脑海里转，明明不是时候去想，但是就是不能不想。而且，很烦。
(=,=)

我顿时觉得，虽然自己也是人类，但是有时候会觉得世界上，最强的是人类，最弱的，也是人类。
强在，我们是万物之王；弱在，我们心灵上的空虚。世界上的东西都不恐怖，可怕的是，我们人的心。

不过，有些人真的是很强，心灵强的人，不管身子再弱，都很强。代表我们的，不是性格，外表，而是我们的心。要在心灵上坚强，好难啊~哈哈~

所以，自己要管好自己~

Having many stuffs turning in my little brain, i know its a bad timing to think about it but i just couldn't help. haha...

I suddenly felt that.. Though i'm also human, i still think that, humans are the strongest in the world, at the same time, the weakest. We're strong cuz we conquer the world; we're weak at being lonely deep inside the heart. The scariest thing on earth is not any ghost or what, but human's heart.

But i know humans with strong hearts still exist. Humans with strong heart, no matter how physically weak they are, they're just strong. Our heart represents us, not out body or faces.. Being strong mentally is really hard, isn't it~

So, we should really take good care of ourselves.

大结局

2009-09-08T18:35:00.003+08:00

哎哟！！白哭一场！！原来后面是好结局！！不过还是有些人没回来，像Sieghart and Reina。。。可惜。后面好可怜~~~~

不过，哈哈，没事就好啦~
=D

原来我很害怕 I didn't know i was fearful

2009-09-07T22:31:00.004+08:00

我很清楚自己的弱点。我最害怕的是什么，我真的太清楚了。今天，还是证实了，我害怕的东西，还真不少啊。。。

分离，很恐怖。死亡，自己并不可怕，但是朋友或亲人死了，我认为更可怕。一陷入那个无法再见到他们的想法，自然而然，我就觉得很可怕。所以，一段情的开始，我真的会很害怕。

上面那个嘛，就是Rave。我开始讨厌起这个作者，他怎么那么爱画人家死啊！！看得我。。。他们这个故事要结局了吧，所以很多人死了。看着同伴死是很痛苦的事。

我说过，稍微情绪化也不是坏事。但是，现在。。。。

我多么希望自己不情绪化！！

..............................

我都不确定自己能不能入睡。

I'm very clear about my weakness. I understand myself too well. As of today, i found out that i was afraid of.....

Separation. It's scary. Death itself wasn't that scary compared to separation, at least that was my opinion.. But if it's a death of someone you cared about very much, someone dear, it's far more hurting. Once you thought of you couldn't meet them again in future, couldn't touch them, couldn't talk to them, the fear of losing them will overwhelm. Hence, doesn't it sound scary? So, whenever a relationship starts, i will be afraid.

The picture above is Rave. I kinda hate this guy who draw the manga now, cuz why the hell does he have to draw important people die??? Watching your comrade die in front of you is like hell!

I kinda said being emotional was okay once in a while, but now...

I wished i wasn't born this way!

散步 A Walk

2009-09-06T23:07:00.004+08:00

像纷飞讲的一样，散步，可以让人想通很多事情。

她也喜欢散步。但是，我喜欢看天空。认识她的那天起，我就开始向着天空发呆。

看什么咧？就是发呆而已咯。问我有什么好看？其实，看的就是蓝天白云，还有那些回忆。

回忆看到吗？看不到，但是感觉到。哈哈~~~

散步之所以可以想通那么多事，我认为是旁边的事物。像刚刚散步回来，我看到旁边那些小黄花，会想起婆婆，因为婆婆的墓碑旁种的是小黄花。以往都是公公去照顾的，现在没人理了，因为他们都在天堂相聚了。

所以说，散步，是不是能想通很多事呢？

In a novel i read once, a girl said: each time you walk around, you'll think of something new.

The her i knew likes to go for a walk too. But i like glaring at the blue sky. Since the day i knew her, i started looking up to the sky once in a while. It just became a habit.

You might ask me what is there to see? Haha, i don't know either. I would just stared and went blank. What i was looking at, is the memories behind those blue sky.

Memories can't be seen, but you can feel them.

Now i know why going for a walk makes some complicated things simple. The things around you reminds you of the person you're thinking, or the thing you couldn't get for a long time. I saw the yellow flowers when i walked by. Thought of my grandma. She passed away when i was 7, and it was grandpa who took care of the yellow flowers on her grave. Now that my grandpa passed away too, who's gonna take care of them?

So, isn't it great that going for a walk makes things clear? =D

当你已经不在 When you're not around anymore

2009-09-03T21:27:00.003+08:00

思绪很乱。。。我不想去想咯。。。但是，感觉像在背叛你，不过说了可能更加伤害你。
哎哟~虽然不后悔，但是很希望告诉你我的想法。不过，现在不行。所以，还是希望你等我。

-不是自己的我-

Am confused now. Doesn't wanna even think about it. But i felt like i betrayed you, but if i said it out i would hurt you more. Haix. Though i never regretted, i wished i could tell you clearly how i feel. But, not now. So, hope you could wait for me.

-Not me-

LaMonXe tragedy~

2009-09-02T22:12:00.004+08:00

光辉不再~ T.T

我们的钢琴手--Lewin 汹退出了！我们在此祝福他活得更好~

放屁！！他又不是死了。。。

L.M.X.'s keyboardist-- Lewin has quit! Now, we're left with 4. Same people though. =D
Well then, hope we wont get any other 'quit' stuff going on. =/

Will kinda miss the days..

一个月~

2009-09-01T17:46:00.003+08:00

hehehe. =D i'll leave the rest to myself. pufuuuu~~~~ *fly away*

=.= siao edi.

断食！！！

2009-08-31T18:49:00.002+08:00

知不知道我这三天去了哪？

=D

哈哈哈哈，说来都怕了，真的。我这三天。。。跑去断食了~~~知不知道什么是断食？？断食，就是不能吃！那这三天我是怎么活着的？哈哈~傻的，我不能吃，但是能喝那些营养啊！！不过，这三天是怎么熬过来的，我真的痛苦极了。哈哈~

29 August 2009

这天是第一天。断食营在金马仑，我们很早，真的很早就醒了。然后出发，一路上是喝什么？果菜汁，就是水果&蔬菜打成的汁！！我很抗拒，但是没办法，因为不喝，我就会晕倒，没得吃嘛！然后一直到晚上，好戏才上映。不说早餐、午餐和晚餐是什么，不就是营养餐。就是把那些药丸状的vitamin全部放进blender，然后绞啊绞，能想象吗？然后还要吃garlic药丸。三餐都是酱，还加supper! 哈哈哈~

晚上呢，我就和刚刚认识的朋友，文艺还有一个不知道谁（对不起，跟你玩那么多天还忘了问你的名。。。）在那个bar开了之后打算唱k。然后，唱到一半，隔壁那些来度假的就一起来爽。刚开始我就是和文艺唱而已，还有那个未来歌星。哈哈~然后，后来杀出那首歌，飞轮海和S.H.E.唱得‘只对你有感觉’，那时，男生是由一个帅哥唱的，原本我就没打算跟他合唱，可是既然没人唱，然后好死不死，我会唱，就唱女生部分。唱下唱下，好像真的‘只对你有感觉’，我心里喊糟糕。。。=.= 我这辈子没试过这么遗憾，就是隔天他们很早就离开了。没有认识到。哈哈，很遗憾，真的。=) 那天就在12点结束了。

30 August 2009

这天早上很晚才起。哈哈，然后没什么事发生。跟文艺玩了几下篮球，然后就无所事事，我睡了整天。嗯。。。傍晚起来，被拉去爬山！爬到我回去作呕，就死命喝那个果菜汁。那时候，心里真的开始想念食物。哈哈~之后赖老师（文艺的爸爸），也是我爸的书法老师，就给了一个《生活的艺术》分享。有3个问题值得深思。
1.你是谁？
2.你从哪里来？
3.要往哪里去？
看似简单哦~但是你搞清楚了之后，你的生活就会有目标。

lol hey guys, i'm just gonna translate this paragraph cuz i think there are 3 questions i might want you guys to think thoroughly. haha, these 3 days i went... i dont know how to say in english but only one thing i can explain, which is, i cant eat solid food for 3 DAYS. lol~ its hard!!! T.T so, here's 3 questions that might help u find your hope back to your life. make it clear and u'll know what to do in future.
1.who are you?
2.where are you from?
3.where are you heading to?
lol, looks easy but think carefully!! haah~

然后，晚上我们又唱k了。这次，隔壁的人回了，那群年轻人（明冠，华达etc）就和我们high。我就是今天得到了‘歌后’这个称呼。为什么？应该是很会唱？谢谢哦~哈哈。我这辈子，都没想过自己会那么地活泼！

31 August 2009

merdeka!! happy birthday Malaysia~~
那么，今天就是最后一天了。竟然有点依依不舍。哈哈。结束之前啊，大家都必须出来说说自己的感受。我很佩服那些来了好多次的人，他们都是怎么那么坚持的？！哈哈！那么，就是酱了。三天两夜的断食营，就到此结束。希望可以在遇到你们。

tonight, you'll have sweet dream

2009-08-26T21:42:00.002+08:00

You said yes~ XD

it was 'his' thinking la i think. anyways, congrats we have another couple~~~ =D

Call Of Duty

2009-08-23T16:35:00.002+08:00

haha.. i suddenly felt like typing english, so i just went ahead and typed. was watching a movie recently, is about war... =.= yea, war. i dont know why my dad LOVES war movie. not because its bloody but i find war films great, cuz.. haha, it makes you appreciate those beside you more. see, i'm thinking these stuffs, again.

actually, in another way, i hated war films too. because they fucking make me cry when someone dies!!! =.= i'm sorry. i coulnd't help it!

i always wanted to go to NS (National Service), because of that, i got scolded stupid for dont know how many times. but i wanted to try the life of being a, soldier. haha~ weirdo, i know. i just couldn't help it! but anyways, since i wasn't 'lucky' enough to get chosen, my parents didnt want me to go. i'd rather stay too, cuz now, plenty of stuffs are waiting for me to get it done.

see ya my soldier dream. *wave*

午夜十二点，midnight 12am

2009-08-23T02:11:00.002+08:00

讲是讲十二点，其实已经两点了。哈哈。突然很想写下这篇。因为，有个人受伤了。不是被砍伤或撞伤，而是，心被插了一刀，割伤了。

原来，世界上还真的有仗着自己长得帅，就能欺负人的混蛋。对于这些混蛋，骂声‘干’都算便宜他们了。阉了他们还是便宜了他们！！！干脆，让他们来个生不如死。哈哈！

不过，幻想归幻想，我真的希望帮她报这个仇。因为我自己都咽不下这口气。连续骂了几声‘法克！’我都不清楚了。不过...唉~

有你的天空

2009-08-23T00:20:00.005+08:00

她教过我，散步就是该懒散地走路，不需要走直线，也不需要赶时间，走着走着，有时候会想通一些事情。

‘想通什么呢？’
‘一些犹豫的事情，’她转头看我，‘例如该不该喜欢你。’

这是藤井树的作品之一，《夏日之诗》。其实我很爱这本书。我不知道为什么。可能是因为里面提到散步。我其实不爱散步，就算散了，也是那种赶时间的。但是，我喜欢看天空。那蓝蓝的天空，看了特别安心.... 我会看天空，是因为她....

夏日有他的纷飞，而她的存在，像纷飞在夏日的心里所占的位置一样，是个很重要的存在。到现在还是一样... 也许会持续到永远。

不过，最近有个男孩占了她的位置。他让我忘了以前的痛苦，教会我什么是快乐，也让我生平第一次觉得，爱情，原来也是可以快乐的... =)

lol, i know writing chinese is a pain in the ass for readers who were used to read english or dont know chinese. i'm sorry but with writing chinese, i dont need to squeeze my brain juice. haha! SORRY GUYS~ =D

距离·牵手

2009-08-21T19:47:00.004+08:00

一句老掉牙的话：最遥远的距离，不是隔在我们中间的几条路、几条河、几片海，而是明明近在咫尺，却看不见对方的心。那是，心的距离。

有些事情，还是要等亲身经历了，才会明白。哈哈。

类似的情况常发生在我身上，例如，之前那几个负心汉，或者是我暗恋的那些混蛋，都像是太多眼屎了，看不见，或者心里也长了‘心屎’吧？就是看不见。哈哈。现在嘛，遇见了我这个可爱的puppy 之后，我还是第一次体会到，有男朋友的感觉。具体一点，就是，不用再因为心的距离而害怕，不用再自己扛着一些烦心事，不用再在寒冷的天里还一直希望有个人陪在你身边，还有，终于知道，原来牵手，也可以让我很感动。

但是，也因为幸福降临得太突然，偶尔也会问问自己，我可以依靠吗？依靠了之后，失去了，我还能不能再站起来？可能他也在烦恼吧？哈哈。

那个牵手的感觉，我会永远记得。

puppy, i love you. =D

如果是我呢？

2009-08-21T19:34:00.002+08:00

今天，哈哈，好消息！！

嗯，就从放学开始说起吧.....

我们几个好友约好今天，Wai Hoong 会向Yi Xin 告白。也许是真的很着急了，在我们的催促下，Wai Hoong 鼓起了勇气告白。以下，是个模拟对白：

‘你的朋友抛下你了。’
‘很平常的事啦~’
注：是Wai Hoong 叫我们走的！我们还想跟在后面听的！！

‘我有东西要问你。’
Yi Xin 说她大概知道他想问什么了。
*Yi Xin 走向staffroom*
‘你先进去啦。’

*出来后*

‘... 你知道Jin Wern 跟他女朋友告白是在电影院。’
Yi Xin 开始紧张。

‘... 你知道Weng Keat 是在哪里和Xi Ning 告白hor? ’
‘不懂但是我懂这件事。’
‘酱如果是我问你咧？’

以上！就是那个报告。哈哈！我觉得他很棒咯！酱都给他想得出！哈哈~

所以说。。。哈哈，希望他们能真的在一起啦，因为真的是皇上不急，太监急啊！！看他们在那边暧昧酱久，辛苦死了。

once upon a time...

2009-08-20T20:13:00.002+08:00

每个人都有自己的故事。。是不是每个故事，都是从Once Upon A Time开始的呢？

我发觉，人真的会贪心。别人对你付出了，你总会奢望要更多，甚至设法去左右那个人的想法。是酱吗？今天，和Bel 谈到了感情这方面的事，有时候，你没有另一半的时候，你会有诸多要求，譬如：希望有个大胸部女友、希望有个英俊男友等等，可是Bel 说了这句:有时候喜欢一个人是因为他在你身边. He's there. 哈哈。深奥，但是，一针见血。

我不习惯在blog 上写心情日记那一类的，因为心情嘛，留给自己看就好啦，干嘛拿来展示。我是有这种想法啦。。哈哈。

说起Once Upon A Time, 其实不是啦，是看了Bel 的blog 之后想起的。刚刚吃饭时想起以前五年级，我们有个英文补习班，有一次我们补完后，就跑去附近的mamak stall 吃。哈哈，我几乎都忘了这件事，可是有时候，记忆也是很奇妙的东西，沉睡了那么久，突然就冒出来，是不是。。奇妙咧？还是奇怪？还是。。。我想太多？哈哈！一定是最后那个。

有时候，稍微感性一些，也不是坏事。

Lamonxe's first fans~

2009-08-19T20:33:00.003+08:00

yea, its her! My very first band's fans!!! And her friend too. Welllllll~ I was happy so i told Xinki about it. She was also very happy, of course. =D Hope that we'll be more famous. Although its just a starting.. haha! I wished to give you guys the first song we jammed but.. paiseh la.. sry to say but it sucks. =D if you insist, go ahead to youtube, type on lamonxe, and you'll see ''lamonxe cover wake me up when september ends''. warning, listen at your own risk yea, and dont get scared with our costume and stuff. =D

有个男孩叫puppy

2009-08-13T16:21:00.002+08:00

不知道大家有没有发现到这个奇怪的事，当你心情好，做任何事都得心应手，甚至突然觉得你平常很不爽的那个王八蛋都突然变得很顺眼；当你心情差到像大便，倒霉的事就是冲着你来，然后平常再喜欢的人，你都会很想骂他三字经。

就像恋爱一样。

*跑去玩facebook游戏*

哎呀，不好意思。。每次有灵感都酱。。

很多时候，尤其创作这种抽象和不指定的东西，讲究的是‘情感’这二字。所以，像恋爱期间或失恋期间，是灵感的来源。你高兴，写的一切，看到的一切，总之一切的一切，都很开心，顺带一提，虽然我讨厌粉红色，但是，高兴时，一切都是粉红色。那么伤心呢，若你是作词的人，哈哈，你发了，因为伤心的事最容易写，写了又能感动别人，还不发？？我的发是发达的意思。哈哈~那伤心时，你的视线会变成，灰色。

其实现在，我不确定有多少人会去看我的部落格，也不确定在看着的人是否get 到我写的一切，不过无所谓，这就是：灵感。

*飞回去玩facebook游戏*

5 Beta Geek 20: Shelly

2009-08-09T13:35:00.003+08:00

i swear this is the last post for today! XD this is shelly, haha tijah's best friend? erhm, she's a sweet girl, really. =D and nice. sometimes get high with khairi la but, haha still her right? i dont really know her, all i know is she's cool. yea. beautiful no matter in the outside or inside. haha! ok~

Lamonxe 梦乐团

2009-08-09T13:27:00.003+08:00

lol well. suddenly came up with this. my band! =D Lamonxe梦乐团

yea, we're just beginner so... haha! hope to really get to perform on a stage one day.

from the left:
Lewin汹--keyboardist
Xinki歆-- vocalist and 2nd guitarist
Xiro 零-- haha me 1st guitarist
Reika康-- basist
Jen坚-- drummer

i kinda like this pic. XD hahah! Bel said the feeling is like F.I.R. lol~ nevermind. =D

So here goes Lamonxe!!!!

5 Beta Geek 19: Yoong Kit

2009-08-09T13:18:00.002+08:00

right. as you can see, he's all stressed out! okay, by judging him from the outside. what do you think of him? my first judgment for him was: nerd.. yes, i'm serious and i'm sorry. haha. he is kinda anti-social in class? always not involved in any class activities like charity dinner, class party, class trip and a lot more. even class photo, he just wanna exclude himself. but still, haha! u're in mmp! sry.. he's close to arvin, john. well, kinda a weirdo, like those scientist, but i know he just don't want people to know the real him. so that's why he acted weird? just my conclusion. =D